


horrendously amusing space yodels

by bekkaHo



Series: kpop? aliens. [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Gen, Humour, Short Story, Space AU, barely planned, cleverly placed hyperbole, intergalactic, random installments, space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-05-27 19:03:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15031247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekkaHo/pseuds/bekkaHo
Summary: Two aliens by the names of Park Jisung and Zhong Chenle are fugitives of their home planet.And so they flee, seeking a new home.(All they wanted to was to cater for their fat king, only they failed hilariously.)





	1. COMMENCE UNDULATING (HORRORS) HOLLERS

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to this screechy trainwreck. 
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Ah, yes. I may post random extras, but they'll all be related to the main one (the first), and I will rearrange them so they are chronological, no matter what order I post them.

“My liege! Your sustenance has made its arrival!” Jisung splayed out his upper limbs, presenting the platter of assorted blobs, which cruised through the frozen atmosphere. It then made its final arrival on the king’s jiggly face.

 

The sickly coloured-- oh, wait. The naturally-green-in-complexion king rose, his protruding body rolls wobbling precariously. His backside peeled off the surface of his diamond encrusted throne. “You dare,” he screeched, “feed me so well?!” 

 

Jisung’s face turned a deep blue, flushed with the effort of containing his amused shrieks. He backpedalled as he eyed the jelly wedged between questionable folds of flesh. Unconsciously, a slab of tongue slithered its way out of a great big gaping mouth and slurped and prodded, sucking at the rations like a vacuum. His eyes, buried in bulges of green fat, glared at Jisung. The slobbering tongue retreated as dark green lips stretched into a wobbly leer.

 

With a loud “Hah!”, Jisung skipped out of the lavish palace dining room, escaping the blob of a king. 

 

“Jisung Park, where you at?” a gurgly voice yodelled, echoing through the halls. The fancy drapes flapped and a particular mouth-stench gushed towards Jisung’s hippity-hoppity form. 

 

“Yeek!” he squealed, his voice muffled as he was dragged into a room. “Don’t eat me!”

 

“Calm your farm,” a voice shushed. Jisung’s captor was a fellow minion, Zhong Chenle.

 

Jisung swooned. “Oh, Chenle, you saved me from the blob monster! How could I ever repay you?” he cried in falsetto. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut your face, will you?” Chenle squinted at the younger, blue minion. Was he high?

 

“But of course! Anything for my hero!” 

 

“Please.”

 

✮✮✮

 

Later, Jisung and Chenle could be found somersaulting through the backdoor of the palace. 

 

Jisung bounded through a field of natural, fluorescent land mines (kind of like giant radioactive cysts), repeatedly screaming, “I’m free!”

 

Chenle trudged behind, questioning his life choices. His inky black skin shone under the stars, reflecting the Milky Way galaxy. 

 

✮✮✮

 

Even later, when Jisung had calmed significantly, the two fugitives were boarding a public spaceship. 

 

“So… where are we going?” Jisung pondered, kicking his legs idly.

 

Chenle cracked open his eyes, waking from his nap. The Sun appeared on his cheek. He glared. “Where’s this ship going?”

 

There was screen directly above their seats, the words ‘ _ APPROACHING PLANET EARTH’ _  flashing in white. “Ah,” was all Jisung said. 

 

Snorting, Chenle closed his eyes again and the Moon replaced the Sun. Jisung peered through the window and watched as stars blurred into streaks like shooting stars. 

 

✮✮✮

 

Chenle woke as the ship entered the Earth’s atmosphere, the shuddering of the pod shaking him awake. “Whazzat?” he yelled into the air and a supernova exploded on his forehead. Outside the window, only flames could be seen.

 

When they cleared and only fluffy white clouds and a light blue could be seen, the ship hovered to a stop.

 

A voice announced through the speakers. “You have arrived at your destination: Earth.” The words were spoken in some alien language, but the translators conveyed the message into something comprehensible. “Please enter your teleport code and enter your pod.”

 

Jisung hopped over to the departure station and waited for Chenle. He could only see the vague shapes of land covered in Earth colours: unusually dark greens and browns, nothing like the fluorescent yellows and oranges he was used to. 

 

Chenle reached the pod Jisung stood next to. “Where’s the ticket?”

 

His head snapped up and he stared at Chenle with growing horror. “... Ticket?”

 

“Don’t tell me you--” A black hole appeared at Chenle’s temple that sucked in any stars that dotted his dark skin. He sighed heavily and brought his fingers up to massage his head, willing away the black hole. “Fine. It’s fine,” he told himself and counted to ten.

 

He opened the hatch and shoved the annoying blue bane-of-Chenle’s-existence in the pod and punched in the code printed on  _ his _ ticket. 

 

“Wha-” Jisung barely opened his mouth before his atoms dispersed and he reappeared in a landing pod somewhere on Earth. 

 

Chenle willed away any stars and hid the black hole with his silver hair. He cried out in distress, alerting one of the space-employees. 

 

“What seems to be the problem, my dear?” she asked.

 

“It’s absolutely horrible!” he cried. “This pod won’t accept my code! It’s rubbish! I may not use this ship again, it’s so unreliable.” He huffed and furrowed his eyebrows in false irritation. 

 

“I’m so sorry, my dear! I shall assist you at once!” she wept. She hurried back into the main vehicle for a moment, them ran back out to where Chenle waited, kind of panicked. In her hand, a fresh ticket flapped. She dropped it into his hands, then proceeded to empty her pockets, shovelling credit tokens into his pants. “Here, take these! For your troubles.”

 

Chenle stared at the peculiar woman, but didn’t break his act once. “Of course. Perhaps I will consider boarding this ship again.” He punched in the new code and transferred the tokens into a bag. Without another glance behind him, he entered the pod and he disappeared behind the closing doors. 

 

✮✮✮

 

Jisung was pacing at the landing terminal when Chenle arrived on Earth’s land. 

 

There were bright stars dusted across Chenle’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose like freckles, shining happily.

 

Jisung stopped short and watched Chenle’s strange behaviour. There was a fat bag in one of his hands, too. “What did you do?”

 

Chenle merely grinned and skipped over to the currency exchange booth near them. He upended the sack into the machine and an avalanche of tokens poured out, drowning out the hustle and bustle with a sound alike to the crashing of waves. After an hour or so, the machine closed and shook, processing the credits and converting them into an Earth-compatible form. Out of a small slit, the machine coughed out a thin, plastic card. When Chenle grabbed it, the machine opened again, the credit tokens gone. 

 

Jisung hopped over to his companion and swiped the strange-looking card from Chenle’s fingers. A large, pink star flared across his cheeks in indignance and he tried to steal it back. Jisung, however, just stretched his blue arm up where Chenle couldn’t reach, being slightly shorter than Jisung. 

 

Jisung inspected the card. On one side, there was a black stripe across the bottom, with strange engravings above it. On the other side, there were more incomprehensible characters. The card was white with touches of black and a dullish yellow. Huh.

 

✮✮✮

 

“So… the king won’t get us from here, on Earth, right, LeLe?” Jisung asked one day, doodling on a piece of scrap paper with an orange highlighter that reminded him of his home planet and his previous life as a servant.

 

Chenle looked up from his astronomy textbook, his skin reflecting the planets and galaxies on the pages. “Nah,” he shrugged, “he’s too lazy for that.”

 

“Cool beans.” 


	2. IN WHICH THEY GET CAREERS IN YODELLING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A preview of our favourite space minions achieving things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is approaching fast (just a couple of light years away), so sit tight. (This is my first time posting on AO3, and I am unfamiliar with this whole thing. Basically, the chapters were all messed up- oh, right, it's only one chapter. Well, I am preparing this for future 'chapters'. Think of it as me marinating these words so it becomes something delicious- or more delicious.)
> 
> Oh, wait. Here it is.

It begins in night school when Jisung is eating a snack under a tree, gazing up at the stars. Here, everything is muted, with the only stars visible, but with his enhanced vision, he can almost see the Milky Way. His musing is broken when a ball of flailing Chenle comes barrelling towards him, Earth phone in hand. 

 

“ _ Hé! Hé, _ Jisung!  _ Regardez mon iPad!” _

 

Jisung’s is mouth hung open, a cracker making its way into his mouth, when he freezes, his eyes widening comically. Chenle’s silver is sticking out in random directions and stars are blooming all over his skin, lighting up the night. When he snaps out of it, he doesn’t eat the cracker and speaks instead. “Why are you speaking  _ français _ ? There’s no one around,” he observes in their native language. He takes the iPad from Chenle anyway. 

 

**_SM Entertainment Auditions_ ** _ ,  _ it says on the top in clear, bold lettering.

 

“I was thinking about going. It’s tomorrow, see?” Chenle’s smile is blinding as he speaks and scrolls down on the screen, pointing at a specific date.

 

“Ah, really?” Jisung asks, skimming through the information page in front of him, crackers forgotten. “ _ Vraiment _ ?” he adds, spying an incoming  _ professeur _ . 

 

Chenle sees her too. “ _ Oui, oui! Tu devez venir avec moi!” _ His enthusiasm is not lost in the change of language. “ _ S’il te plaît?” _ he adds, his eyes reflecting the moon.

 

“ _ D’accord, mon ami,” _ Jisung concedes, rolling his eyes as if he wasn’t going to the moment Chenle asked.

 

✩✩✩

 

Chenle auditions to be a singer. He debates whether or not to sing a song in his native tongue, but decides against it and sings in  _ français _ . 

 

Once he sings the last note, the judges look stunned. One of them speaks, finally. “ _ Avez-vous jamais essayé le jodle?” _

 

✩✩✩

 

Jisung auditions to be a dancer. He performs a choreography he’d been refining for the past month for school and the judges are lying on the ground, their chairs on their sides in shock.

 

One of them cranes their neck to look at Jisung from the ground. “ _ Avez-vous jamais essayé le jodle?” _

 

✩✩✩

 

“LeLe, they asked me to  _ yodel.  _ They didn’t even see if I could sing!” Jisung waves his arms about confusedly. 

 

While Chenle agrees with Jisung’s bewilderment, he pats him on the head  condescendingly consolingly. “Hush, child. It’s your nap time.”

 

Jisung’s blue limbs freeze mid-flail. He squints at Chenle’s sunny eyes. It’s only two awfully suspicious Earth minutes later when Jisung lets his arms fall and he shrugs. “Of course,  _ maman, _ ” he coos sweetly.

 

✩✩✩

 

The thing is that Jisung can be very patient if he tries hard enough. 

 

It’s a good three weeks into their vocal training when Jisung gets his revenge. 

 

Chenle is sitting in their shared dorm, his back facing the door, which is just  _ perfect. _ Jisung pads carefully towards his roommate’s back, stopping only when he’s only a short length away from Chenle’s ear. He inhales through his mouth silently and  _ yodels.  _

 

The effect is immediate. Chenle hollers in shock and a supernova explodes from his neck, disappearing underneath his hair. He pitches forward off the chair, which tips onto its side with a thud. 

 

Jisung cackles as he watches Chenle breathe heavily on the carpeted ground, almost falling over himself. His laughter halts the moment Chenle speaks, however.

  
“Wow, Jisung! That training sure paid off: you sound  _ majestic!” _

 

* * *

 

 

“ _ Hé! Hé, _  Jisung!  _ Regardez mon iPad!” =  _ "Hey! Hey, Jisung! Look at my iPad!"

 

_ français _  = French

 

_ Vraiment?  _ = Really?

 

_ professeur _  = teacher

 

“ _ Oui, oui! Tu devez venir avec moi!”  _ = "Yes, yes! You have to come with me!"

 

_ S'il te plaît  _ = Please

 

_ D'accord, mon ami _  = Of course, my friend

 

“ _ Avez-vous jamais essayé le jodle?”=  _ "Have you ever tried yodelling?"

 

_ maman _  = mother

* * *

 

 

**Yes, I know French. Whoot.**


	3. A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a year after their arrival on the planet Earth and Jisung is in awe of Chenle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot less funny than the previous parts to capture the specific mood I was going for.
> 
> Still, enjoy :)

“LeLe,” Jisung greets, popping up out of nowhere, “waddup.” He lies down next to his fellow extraterrestrial on the grass, shadowed by the immense darkness of the sky, but glowing under the light of the moon and the stars. Chenle’s eyes are closed, but Jisung knows he can see every constellation behind his eyelids anyway, engraved into his memory. He’s also wearing a cap over his metallic hair, but it’s nighttime and he can see a black hole peeking out from underneath the strands that tickle his forehead.

 

Chenle doesn’t respond to Jisung’s words, but fans out his fingers in acknowledgement to Jisung’s presence. Jisung notices the glaring absence of the usual stars that adorn his skin. He sucks in a breath, but says nothing. Instead, he looks up at the stars, twinkling unrelentlessly through the blanket of the Australian night. Here, the light pollution is considerably less evident, meaning Jisung can see the Milky Way that streaks across his vision. 

 

They lie there in the grass, shoulders barely touching, for a while. It is only when Jisung is honing his vision, trying to see beyond, when Chenle finally speaks. When he does, Jisung turns to face him immediately. Chenle’s eyes are open now, staring at the moon above them. 

 

“Do you ever wonder… why we even left?” he asks slowly, enunciating every syllable with care. He speaks in their native language, seemingly immersing himself in what sounds like home. “I didn’t know I would miss it so much,” he murmurs quietly and his fingers stretch out to touch the air, reaching for the place he missed so much.

 

Jisung shifts his body so that he’s lying on his front, his upper half held up by his elbows. His eyes span across Chenle’s tracking the slight breeze that plays with the silver strands underneath the navy material of his cap, but they flicker to the darker-than-black eyes that look past Jisung, into somewhere far, far away. Though there are no stars or planets or marks of any kind on his skin, Chenle’s eyes hold all the stars in the universe, shining deep in his soul.

 

There’s no breath in his lungs, but he speaks anyway, enthralled by the sight before him (he’s not referring to the night sky). “Yeah, of course,” he whispers, his voice barely alive in the still breeze, but the words somehow meet Chenle’s ears, “there’s no way I’ll forget.” Chenle finally looks at him, but he kind of wishes he didn’t, the gaze heavy with an infinite number of meanings. “But we’re here now. This is our second home,” he continues, looking away from Chenle’s eyes, and looking instead at the black hole that lingers next to his eyebrow.

 

Chenle closes his eyes again, thinking again. “I know,” he says after a minute. Jisung can’t help but notice the way the words are spoken: his voice is a little lighter, almost like a sigh, but a twinge of resignation weaves its way into the two words. He tilts his head back, basking in the starshine. The black hole at his temple diminishes slightly and the tightness in his expression relaxes. 

 

Jisung watches this in slight awe. Being a child of the universe, there is no doubt Chenle is seeking comfort in the stars, like a son who hugs his mother because he misses her so. Jisung smiles and tentatively touches the shoulder closest to him, his blue fingers dancing across the thin cloth that covers it and imagines the map of stars beneath it as the tension in Chenle’s body is released and the black hole disappears, a network of constellations washing over his own celestial body.

 

“Let’s go there one day,” he suggests.

 

A beat passes and Chenle smiles. “No… let’s stay at home for a bit.”

 

After the statement, his hand seeks Jisung’s, pressing a palm into his and link their fingers together. 

 

✩✩✩


	4. CHENLE DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE BLACK HOLES ON EARTH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chenle starts to feel a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was literally written all when I first composed this story, except for the end. Hah.
> 
> And it's shorter than an ant, but who cares... right?

Chenle is sitting underneath a tree, reading his astronomy textbook while watching the sun set. He watches as the shadows of the leaves and branches that hang above him spread out to nothing. His fingers trace the constellations on the shiny pages absentmindedly as he leans back against the sturdy trunk of his companion and breathes in the night air. 

 

He continues to flip through his book, while sensing the invisible stars that are waiting behind the sheet of purple-orange sky. It’s when he sees the first star emerge that he also sees a blue figure appear in his peripheral. Without saying anything, Jisung trudges to Chenle’s side and collapses beside him so that his head is next to Chenle’s knees, where the heavy book rests.

 

Jisung’s body curls into the side of the tree, tucking his knees to his chest, and reaches an hand to Chenle’s knee. His other hand lays limply between them, tickling the blades of grass that flutter in the breeze. Yawning, his eyelids flicker closed and his blue skin shines underneath the dim light of the stars that sparkle above them.

 

Careful not to disturb the dozing person whose fingers are curled around his knee, Chenle quietly closes his book and sets it aside. He shifts so that he sits with his legs folded haphazardly beneath him. Jisung’s palm is warm on Chenle’s skin and he can’t help the rush of affection that threatens to overwhelm him. Then is when he gives in to the urge, gingerly fanning out his fingers so that they brush the blonde hairs that lie across Jisung’s forehead. He strokes Jisung’s forehead and he smiles as Jisung mumbles something incoherent, leaning into the touch.

 

As Jisung drifts away, Chenle feels closer. He observes his sleeping form and finally  _ looks _ at him. Now, he can drink in the impossible beauty of his ‘friend’ without judgement. 

 

The royal blue of Jisung’s skin shimmers under the brightness of the moon, a slight sparkle dusting the surface. His fingers trace his cheekbone, the touch feather-light. Leaning down, he presses a sweet kiss where his fingers caressed, before sitting back, letting his ‘friend’ rest.

 

He feels himself sinking happily into the black hole called Jisung.


	5. AN EXPERIENCE TOGETHER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Chenle watch their first Earth movie together... (they watch E.T.).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very, very, very short installment that I just found when I was going through my plan that I wanted to share.

“Hey, that thing looks like my uncle!” Jisung exclaims, jabbing a finger at the screen. 

 

Chenle doesn’t say anything because he’s too busy cackling because it’s  _ true. _ He remembers the last time he met him, and all of the tiny, wrinkly and slimy being that he is (or was).

 

✩✩✩

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say short.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you found glee in wasting your own time.
> 
> ... is that even possible?


End file.
